diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:42:13 GMT -5
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:43:22 GMT -5
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:44:09 GMT -5
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
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diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:44:33 GMT -5
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
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diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:45:24 GMT -5
There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.
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diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:47:32 GMT -5
There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
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diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:48:35 GMT -5
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
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diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:50:26 GMT -5
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
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diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:50:44 GMT -5
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
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diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:52:12 GMT -5
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:53:40 GMT -5
Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
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diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:54:20 GMT -5
Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.
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diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:56:13 GMT -5
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
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diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:57:09 GMT -5
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
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diop
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Post by diop on Dec 8, 2007 4:59:56 GMT -5
Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
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